Here and There

Well I haven’t talked to Dion in 9 days or so. Paranoid yes, driving myself crazy yes. But oh well I guess I haven’t to deal with what the gods throw me.

I’m been trying to “lose” weight lately I’ve gained about 8 revolving pounds I like to call them. Basically within two days I can gain 8 pounds and lose them. My tummy has seen better days.

I do feel unmotivated and I’m behind on my school work I should have been starting the second semester this week but I haven’t finished the first. I hope to be able to push myself and get this stupid thing done by the end of July. Leaving only my divorce to finance. I then have been harassed by Ronnie and Ronnie Lee to call Ben’s 1st shirt and tell him I’m not living with him anymore and that I should get his BAH, basic housing allowance. Which I think is a crock of shit.

Next when I get in these moods I like to spend money, and since I really have no money to spend I have vivid fantasies about what I need to change would I should have changed and what am I going to do? Well some little crazy word has crept into my vocabulary air force. I think and I look at all the girls that made it, I can fucking do that the only thing I would have trouble on would be the “physical” crap, mental stuff people yelling in my face degrading me, and trying to make me feel like crap, well I get that at home, in the bar, at work, only this time I would have to let it roll off my back. Better than being stuck around here. The only thing I question is Samantha what in the hell would I do with her? I know Ronnie wouldn’t want to keep her. Nobody wants her, but I’m not going to put her to sleep or get rid of her. So I guess I’ll have to wait.

I’m off to do something really fun stuff, pay my credit card bill, and return some stuff to Maurice’s, and apply for a job at a nursing home. So off I go.

Crazy Girl